What’s the easiest method to get away with anything? Plant a sense of guilt. That should do the work.
You can often see this behavior in children. When a younger child does something bad to another, they often try to get a hand in and cry before the other kid. That’s probably because the victims tend to receive more love and the perpetrator gets criticize, vindicated, and rejected.
This is the same for adults. Often we place ourselves as victims due to the common notion that as we play this role, more people will put focus, care, and side with us.
And that’s great and all, but this is, in fact, a toxic behavior that we should eliminate. The sooner, the better.
Playing The Victim: Why Is It Not A Good Role To Play?
Here’s the fact: some people are actually victims, and those people are allowed to ask for help and validation. That’s because that’s a way they get out of that situation.
Victims are attended to more by the surrounding people to help them move past what they experience. You are supposed to move on and become happy.
Yes, you’ve been through stuff, but no, you should not feel entitled to using your victim role to control others.
Dear readers, there are so many things and relationships out there for you to explore, but none of those will be available to you with a victim’s mentality.
Victim playing is not the only way you get a situation to work for you or for people to like you, love you, and be with you.
Victim mentality is not the only opportunity to keep people around or to receive affirmation.
The victim card can only go so far. At some point, the affection you receive from it all will perish, and what’s scary is that there will come a time when you won’t be able to pull yourself out of the role.
6 Reasons Why People Have The Need To Play The Victim Role
- They have been victims for a long time and have developed victim syndrome.
- They are drowning in self-pity due to the irrational fear that they are not good enough.
- They might be surrounded by people who make them feel inferior.
- They find it convenient that people tend to do more for them as victims.
- They have a mental health issue that needs to be resolved.
- They never got around to letting the past go.
7 Ways To Stop Playing The Victim In Your Life
You are not always the victim. You have the power to change your disposition. I know it’s not going to be easy not to feel victimized in this cruel world, so here are some ways you can start hoping we can slowly find our way back to our true selves.
Learn To Love Yourself
More often than so, self-victimization stems from forgetting about ourselves.
In search of someone to love us, we forget that self-compassion is the best form of affection.
You don’t need to beg or look pitiable to receive warmth from others. The greatest love of all is knowing how to love yourself.
Own Your Mistakes
Do not blame other people for what you have done. We are not children anymore, do not be afraid of criticism. It’s a part of being an adult or, rather, being human.
From correction, we can become better. So, stop with that victim mindset. Own it, feel guilty, and make up for it if you did wrong. That’s how you grow.
Know Your Individual Strengths
You’re probably stuck as the victim because you have been relying on other people to do things for you; that has to change.
You are a unique existence, you are not weak, but instead, you are a being full of potential yet to be discovered, and to grasp these powers, you have to stand up for yourself.
Instead of boosting other people’s egos, start raising your self-esteem by finding what you are capable of.
Stop relying on other people because you can do what they can, and that’s a fact.
Discover What Makes You Happy
Discover the things that make you happy. Self-kindness is a great way to improve your total self.
Doing the things that you are good at, accomplishing, and experiencing happiness, are some ways you can start feeling like you need to receive affirmation from anyone else.
Enjoy your life without the need for company. Be the one the makes you the happiest.
Appreciate The People You Have
Don’t take anyone for granted. Do not feel like you own people and that they are obligated to cater to your every need.
Instead of guilting people to stay with you, love them. Show them that it is not a responsibility to be beside you but instead a choice, a good one.
Practice gratitude, understanding, and compromise. Let them live as themselves while being with you. In that way, you can truly build a relationship of equal individuals, and not between a victim and a sympathizer.
Seek Professional Help
For some people, seeking mental health professionals is the way to go. Some people are in deeper trouble than most of us. So learn to recognize if you are simply playing the victim or actually unable to get out of the role.
Professionals are here for a reason. It can be a school counselor, a family therapist, or anyone with the proper expertise. Reaching out is nothing to be ashamed of.
Understand That You Have The Choice To Stop Playing Victim
Know that you have the power not to become the victim. You can fight back, strive to become greater and make it yourself.
If you feel like being the victim is your only choice, that’s a lie. Being a victim is not supposed to become a lifestyle; it’s supposed to be a lesson, a chance to become stronger, a chance to protect yourself better next time.
We are free beings who are privileged to have free will. We hold our fate in our hands as well. If you truly want it, you, too, can stop being the victim.