We, as humans, are caring in nature, even with things that don’t necessarily need caring. Livestock can become pets, plants are given names, and things like cars are said to have personality. All because humans cared about them. But there can be someone who takes it too far.
What does it mean to care too much?
Is Having A Caring Nature A Bad Thing?
No. But just like how chocolate milk is a great source of calcium, too much chocolate milk can lead to many health problems.
You have to balance caring about your own life and caring for others. It’s always okay to worry and be concerned for anyone you have a good relationship with, but at some point, you will need to take in your world and care about your personal life first.
Is caring too much a bad thing?
The saying goes, “Too much of a good thing… Is TOO MUCH of a good thing.”
You start to see that caring too much for others makes you lose the ability to care for yourself and the things in your world. You can also see that you care too much because you do not feel the same way as the person you care for.
9 Ways You Show You Care Too Much
1. You Are Indecisive
Do you wait for someone to tell you about their day before deciding what to do with yours? Do you wait to see how another person feels about a situation, then choose based on their reaction? You have constant worry because you are always waiting for someone else to choose.
2. You Are A People Pleaser
You want people to like you, almost to the point where you will hide your true self to appease others’ feelings. You feel good making other people happy, even at the cost of your happiness.
3. You Seek Other People’s Opinions
In the same line as people-pleasers, you also care too much about what others think of you. Whether you have met a person, you care what everyone thinks about you. That’s not necessarily bad, but it can wear down your emotional energy if you are constantly worried about what others think about you.
4. You Don’t Like To Say No
Have you ever over-booked yourself, spread yourself too thin, because you couldn’t say no to even one person? You make the situation worse, either canceling at the last minute or ignoring someone to favor another.
5. You Don’t Like To Set Boundaries
Saying no and setting boundaries are closely related. Negative people will use you without some sort of boundary and leave you with more emotional chaos than you had before.
6. You Crave Validation
Some time in your life, you didn’t learn or didn’t practice finding validation within yourself. So, you got into the emotional habit of seeking it in others. That puts you in a place where your self-worth is only felt when other people give it to you. It can get exhausting waiting for others to give you the feelings and emotions you need as a person.
7. You Stay In Your Comfort Zone
You care too much about people’s opinions, causing you to care too much about people’s opinions causing you to want to try anything new rarely. This can include something strange, like trying ethnic cuisine, to something smaller, like where you take your dry cleaning.
Most people do not care what you are up to in your daily life, but you try to stay within what you think is acceptable because you care too much.
8. You Attach To People And Things Too Quickly
Sometimes, you think that someone has come into your life because they need you to solve problems they can’t do independently. To show you care, you try to fix them. This can be attached too quickly, making a friendship or relationship rocky after.
9. You End Up Feeling Like The Victim
You put all this time and effort into changing your whole life for this person, only for them to create an emotional distance as the relationship goes on longer?
You start to feel hurt and used. But you start to realize that they never asked for you to change yourself or your world for them. Because you couldn’t stop caring too much, you feel wasted all that energy and time.
How Can I Stop Caring So Much?
You can now see how all these things get you nowhere later in life and how they also hurt you and your feelings much more than anyone else in the situation.
What do you do if you care too much?
There are a few things that you can do to help with your caring too much.
Don’t wait for others to tell you to have to live your life. Think of what you want, then do it!
Stop doing things just to make others happy, especially if it goes against your own happiness
This one can take a bit longer to unlearn, but start by knowing your ideas and thoughts are valid and yours. Grow from that and start to care more about your opinion.
Can’t Say No
Start with something small; maybe it’s just a pet peeve. Move on to bigger things, and realize bad things won’t happen every time you say no.
Once you start saying no, the boundary setting becomes easier. If the person actually cares about you, your setting boundaries will not upset them.
Time to learn the emotional skill of finding validation within yourself. Learn to be happy in your skin. Learn to love yourself and what you like to do.
Try things! It can be small; it can be major. Try it because you want to, it’s okay if you don’t like it. That’s all part of the fun! You might even meet new people who matter more to you than before.
Practice taking a step back when first meeting people. If they like you and want more, they will make an effort. People will like you outside of what you can do for them!
Once you have learned and practiced all the ways to stop caring too much, you will stop feeling like a victim. You start to matter to yourself and see how you can change things around you instead of waiting for someone else to do it.
My Final Thoughts
I wrote this article from a place of experience and love. I want what is best, happiest, and healthiest for you.
I hope you will continue learning and growing into a better version of yourself every day.
Remember to love yourself and others around you.